I'm back from the Freshman Orentation Camp... Cscc's Hanté D' horreur. Ha..what got me joinning the camp was because of the interest in the paranormal... then also of Sean :P... well anyway, lets head on to the first day of the camp...
Day 1 Met up with Mr Choy and Danny in the taxi on the way to Sp... and then went on to meeting up with XianYing and gang... We waited for Ben for awhile more but he didn't show... so we went on to mark our attendence... Over there, we went to seperate groups n started the ice-breaking game... then when all were here, we were sortted out to different groups ... As they called out names ... I couldn't help looking at those I know as one by one they left for other groups... As I let go all hopes of being with anyone I knew, Ben and me suprising made it into the same group... the group I know now as my Banshee Family :D...
After that, we went into our groups and the 1st person I introduced myself was Han, haha AKA Banta Singh :P and the also Rhamat the Cheer-leader of our family... then we went on to Ice-breaking again.... First of all Didn't really felt very nice at that moment.. as everything was stiff .. We then went on to our flag making game...haha I held on to a pile of blue paint... instantly reminding me of X-Japan's Blue Blood... as I dripped it everywhere, we hurried along to do our flag station by station collecting items for the creation.... At one station 2 guys of our group had to remove their top for us to get a penkinfe...haha then its on to the creation...And we finally completed it!.. Standing up and looking around, we were in the midst of a "no music no movement" game and then I was not paying attention and got painted on hahahaha...so did Jayce, one of the topless dude..and as such I slapped my palm full of purple on his stomach and thats how I got to know my classmate and "twin" brother :D.....At first the flag didn't look like anything but once it started to dry, it look great!.. Haa.. then to our bunk to place our items and get ready a one day bag... after, we went for lunch and then to the bus ...or was lunch earlier?..HAA forgot :P.. This is the making of a close family then it seems... "I almost cried.."
On the way to the campsite, we started more camp songs... and some riddles... I blacked'out once in awhile but still was awake enough to join in :D... At the campsite... camp Christine..is a camp for girl-guide/scout....ahh.. anyway, We had rules of being in the camp.. 1. Do Not Let Flag get STolen...2. Protect each and everyone in our family from being captured...3. Protect our 2 1.5ml Ice-mountain bottles of water... haha so Han took the role of Flag Barer and we went to our bunk to place our belongings... We then created 2 cheers for our family..Then its time for station games.... our first station game was to fit everyone in our group on a small piece of mat... we all made it around it with quit a bit of effort when everyone had to jump while the mat was being pulled...
Station 2. Hmm..what was it...? TO BE CONTINUED
Painful things that lead in my mind
Sunday, February 15, 2009
I am not a hurtful person...yet I enjoy pain... is it that I enjoy being used to the max then that will show that I am evil? Maybe I am evil... Lets state something for the fun of it...
I do enjoy being used but I got my limits... u will know it when I become less giving towards you..
:D I lost my mood
Back....
I just felt like not giving you people anymore chances.. I know who I love and trust.. those that know that... feel that... I don't have to say much... Mind you that I am evil once more... in this way... I don't care
is Hate...my new fuel?
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Ever since I stepped into 2009.. I noticed myself change... I done things I normally would not, I am not so tolerant anymore. I seem to lash out and ignore people more now... showing my true emotions... Seems like I lost my patients to those that I don't feel like giving to them anymore... Maybe I had enough of being an Emergency friend... maybe I had it being needed only when there is a need...and then tossing aside with empty useless promises... cause if you can't do it.. why keep it?... YOu aren't changing anytime soon...
I know each of us has their own problems... and I always tried to be there for those I cared... handle their abuse and things like so... let them make use of me... and smiling at their promises that never came true.. its the end... I don't want to anymore... if I don't see the reason why I should do such charity at the cost of my own health.. I rather let my HEAD BLOW UP AND DIE.
^_^
Power of Life.. unseen by all...
Friday, January 23, 2009
For 2009, I am trying to change... Become less of a pessimist and more optimistic... but as the saying goes.. Old Habits Are Hard to Die.... Recently... working at my current job.. I made some cool friends... haha funny no doubt we laugh at the smallest lamest things... :P See the only bad thing about my job is the lack of Buyers... no one comes and buy piano.. it is not like a camera or a television :( but I carry on :D
I still can't help but feel sad and down sometimes... maybe its the music I play on the piano haha all of them Last Song, Speak Softly Love, Endless Rain, Good Bye, Amethyst and now Say Anything haha all are super emo songs... can't help it sometimes...
Still having urges to rip my heart out and crush it... like the glass it is.... :D I am in pain constantly... unknowingly I place myself into tremendous pressure of living on ...like the Desert Rose... I carry on..to bloom in the toughest conditions. The people around me too... even in silence..I feel the pain...
Say that I am a vampire... it still does not mean I don't feel pain..haha but it be more cooler that way....
I hope that all those who I know that are going Singapore Poly will be going it successfully.. so we can meet again... Haha
Nevertheless, I live my life as it is..
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Back from a day of work.. today was a slow slow day. Went to work early as usual.. walked around a bit and exchanged our results.. I got somewhatthe highest among the group there hahaha. Anyway.. there weren't many people.. if I were to count.. I say less then 10 came to the pianos. So I am like wondering all over the place here and there and play the piano a bit here n there.
Had a horrible lunch.. my bad, poured too much soya sauce to my rice.. :P
I dunno what to say much here.. just that I am tired... -.-''
And now it burns as flames from hell
2008 ends just like that.. days move closer and months nearer.. coming 2009 .. haha
2009...smell the air.. no difference really. I'm currently working as a promoter for casio pianos at Bishan Junction 8. At first I hate it there.. then slowly it gets better. Pei Pei visted me on the first 2 days.. haha Danny was very late for the first day haha no biggy.
At the first day of training.. I thought I'm the only one...then 1 came in.. 2.. then all of a sudden more then 10 .. @_@ haa.. so the meeting when on and on and on.. till around 1pm.. Danny came by around 11am.. poor dude waited for me... I felt bad haha.. so then after the meeting, we had lunch.. then I got my work shirt then its off to Bugis.
Went there.. then Danny got hungry again.. so we went to Food Junction and got him something to eat. Haha.. Peper Lunch. We bought Movie tickets to Twilight.. even though we saw it loads of times.. the big screen.. is still cool. While eating, we watied for Pei Pei to come.. then we stoned a little... here and there..
Up at the cinema, we bought hotdogs..and then Danny dropped his!!! WOO!! Lucky for the box it was in..if it ..ALL GONE HAHAHA. Bid Pei Pei bye bye..then its off to Twilight once again.. haha..
After the Movie, we stoned a Bugis a while then Danny came over to my house. Borrowed my entire Twilight collection and then we watched Forbs 20 riches.. hahaa cool. very cool.
I got my O lvl results ... L1R4 17. L1R5 22.. man.. I got a lot of thinking to do... just flooded with confusions again...
A new year.. New begainings...
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Kinda crappy.. hahah Welcome to 2009..
I got a job offer for a promoter of some keyboard piano thingy... so I will go interview tml... :D
Woke up today.. 7am.. Talked to PeiPei a little.. wanted to meet her today for lunch..and at the same time, send her home.. then disater strucked...
My parents woked up around 8am.. and I told them.. "ME GOING OUT K?" ... haa. Guilty... In my heart.. I felt it turned back to glass... and it almost smashed again.., Wasn't allowed out.. @_@... I made a promise to PeiPei and I broke it.. I expected her to hate me.. and SHE DID @_@... D:...
During the day, I was in my room running around.. and then curlling up in a corner..on my bed.. and then.. of all things to find.. I found some letters I wrote... my sucide letters ..dated 3 years back.... Am very Tempted to scan them in and post them online.. hahaha...
Things just seems to be ok.. .. I have no idea what to post.. ... ....
Joy in Life last ....
Monday, December 22, 2008
I am fine now... I believe I am.... haa haa haa
..turning away from the darkness oh so comforting...
... Today was a fun day... one of the fun-est I had... woke up around ..8:30am... and stone all over the house... took a bath.. and then I crawled out of the house after playing with my hair.... my beautiful red hair... Walked slowly to the MRT while listening to music... I reached Boon Lay at 10:30am... and I was suppose to meet PeiPei at 11am.. -.-'' Once again.. I am too early...Then she came on time..... Went out of PeiPei for half of the day.. At first, I thought things would be as slient as they were... on the train, she read her book and I stone at my music...as usual.. started off with a little casual chats.. here and there.. She asked me bout the camera that I lent her... then I went on deleting my photos... and the silences continues... We reached City Hall................ Thats when the Ice started to melt...Walked towards Funan and went all around the place... from Challenger downwards... Determinded to get a cheaper price for the PSP that I am getting her for Christmas..
After a few shops, Christoph?(whatever that piano store) opened ... I proceeded in and bash their piano with the few pieces I know... Made me wanna buy a grand piano now... muwahahahaha.... Disturbing that place enough, We went and got the PSP at Gamescore... woooo S$419.. muwahahahahahahaha.... ha..ha..."cough"... nvm
From there, we went back to Jurong Point.... Wondered around the place and I bought my Cousin's gift and a mouse as mine died....(new one is great!) Then we went to Coffee Bean for a drink..... PeiPei wanted to get her mum a necklace but after looking around, she decided to get her mum down TML.....
I bought another Optimus Prime :D muwahahahaha....
I kept on urging her to go watch movie but she kept on declining me request..D: nvm bout that hehehe...... then I went around asking her " Lets go Convers..u wanted a new shoe ya?", "Are you hungry?...", " Hey.. about that contact lens u want..lets get it"... In the End, I got her to go make the contacts...
We went to the store near my house... Ordered the lenses but it only comes tml...
Finishing all that.. I sent her off in a cab...officially giving her her christmas present... :D
Reached home and then me and PeiPei chatted for awhile the she went to rest....so I started stoning again... went around killing zombies.. then game crash..so I went and became a Jedi once more... all of a sudden, my emotions became heavy... and my mind blanked out... like old days... I started becoming all emo again... haiz... lucky no pen knives around.... want to cry so badly...
Though my Darkness Fades And Light came by My Heart carries on aching Intensely I hurt Voiceless Screaming Crying..with no Tears.. Breaking up deep inside.. Blank in my mind....
From the pain in my heart...
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Haven been posting at all... well I just dun want to... anyway.. I am back... not regularly...
These days after the O lvls, everything passed by fast, my Hokkaido trip was one.. haha 7 days end in a flash.. although it was great.. haha. uploaded my pictures on to Myspace go search for Lonesomhel there....
I dyed my hair red.. then it lightened so I darkened it a few days back.. haha now from pinkish to maroon... its much nicer now...
I had some bad things here and there... first was billy.. dun wish to talk about him... then it was danny.. poor dude.. haiz... atleast he woke up in time..and glad that it did not affect his O levels... if it did, Dun want to think if it did...
I gain some and lose some these days too... Made new.. I gain a little sis " not blood-re" and I lost my hate for somethings..like say.. Martine... I understand his condition now and will help him.. anonymously of course.... hahaaa...
Being so lost in my own world.. I woke up finding things become better... I have been stoning far too much... can't really help it sometimes... dwelling in the past can be so hurting to me... Figures as I am a cusp, meaning I have 2 horoscopes.. half crab head..half lion... haha..
I still yearn for somethings.. praying hard that my plans work out well... and some others that have a forked road.. like say.. the friendship me and PeiPei has... Whatever the outcome maybe.. that is a friendship I can't afford to lose... Same goes for my "gay" partner..Danny hahaha... mizerable may some choices be.. forcing upon them, is what I won't do.. Still, life can be just as hard...
After the little party yesterday at my house, I learn somethings new... from danny..and from peipei... they both attended my little house party... what I learn ..I won't place here...
The darkness that I am so used to has now brighten.. although the light is blinding.. I am getting use to it now... and what I see .. is as nice as it can be... I need to protect it...
Time to go through another change.. and one of the hardest... haha..wish me luck
and comes thy darkness returns...
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Haven been posting cause I am too lazy.. anyway... Peipei asked me to do this.. haa
1. Do you have secrets?
-Of course... who wouldn't have...
2. Would u fall in love with a boy/girl younger than you?
-Depends... but I have a slight preferrence of "older" women...
3. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
-As Long As I live..if I can I will... I ... have been .. for a long time anyway...
4. What would you do with a billion dollars.
-Pay for Danny and Nic for next year's Hokkaido trip. The reminder, give my folks half.. and leave the rest for rainy days.. or.... nvmm...
5. What will you be doing tomorrow?
-Stoning...
6. Which is more blessed ; loving someone or being loved by someone?
-Both have equal value.. but only together.. then it is the greatest...
7. What do you love doing?
-Stoning.. Singing.. Playing Piano... and.. Stoning...
8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
-All the best then... life is such... if I am able to.. I wait... unless... the person she is with.. is my best friend..
9. Is there anything that make you extremely happy?
-Maybe...
10. Do you secretly dislike anyone without them knowing?
-HAHAHAHAHA if I hate someone.. they will know it.. because I am that evil...
11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?
-Being Optimistic, Working happily in the skies.. SIA.. :).. Japan.. :D
12. Who is currently the most important people to you?
-Family.. and.. the small bunch of dudes.. ..u know who u are.. HAHAHA
13. What is being regarded as the most important thing in your life?
-My HANDPHONE... and Igniz.. my computer...
14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
- Single and rich... then I can marry later.. and still be rich... duffus
15. What is your favourite colour?
-Black..like the darknest night. Red..like my blood. White.. like the rays of purity..and Silver, quick as lighting
16. If you are attached but you feel as if you like someone else, what would you do?
-I will never do such a thing.. let along think of it.. so don't bother asking me this question.. love is faith in its on right..
17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that someone has done?
-Depends on what that person did.. I will kill that person if the line is totally crossed..I mean it...
18. What would you want to tell someone you like?
- What will I?..haha when I do.. then I will post it here.. :)
19.What if you caught your bf/gf doing stuffs (only god knows what) with other girls/guys?
- :D ... Oh Happy Day....
20. Do you believe that there is "Love at First Sight?"
-I do..to a certain extend.......
Tell me...
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Today.. was one of the days I deemed the WORST. Last night, Ms Ng smsed me and invited me to meet her at Jurong East library today. I asked her who is going and the reply kinda stunned me.. Shiyun Karyan and Karmun. -.-'' I had to ask some other ppl to go.. I felt weird. I mean, the weird atmosphere in class between me and them... the tension is very stiff.. I dun like it.. yet I live through it like that.. day by day.. until Friday.. nvm.. So I smsed Nico, Zheng Yan and Danny. Only Nic and ZY went.. Danny had family matters...
Continuing today. I went with my parents to collect my new Biomatric Passport.. my photo looks.. sadistic.. hehehe..
THE EYES!! AND THAT SMILE!!! ... I LOOK LIKE A PSYCHO!!!
Anyway, after, that we went Bugis for lunch. Ma Masion...a Japanese western resturant. I had dory fishy :) nice it was... but the service was kinda bad.. maybe because they just opened... I am not one who really gets angry..my day just started.. and it was well...
Anyway.. I left after lunch.. I was on the train the Ms Ng smsed me.. she said .. time changed to 2pm instead of 3pm.. due to the fact that she had to leave by 5.. Me and the dudes were fine... but then.. as I reached home, the meeting was canceled as Shiyun said it was too rush... somehow.. somewhere.. this little voice told me.. " it is because you are going... ".. haha I thought it might be.. anyway.. I reached home.. and found out.. I NEVER BRING MY KEY!!!!!!...
So I just went to Jurong Point like that.. ZY asked me to check if Ms Ang was free... so I did... but the something I expected.. but prayed it never happens... HAPPENED... She replied .. with this EXACT WORDS " Hi today cant, meetin billy group tomorrow night." WHAT THE FUCK!!!??? I mean.. based on my SMSes.. I checked..the first time I asked her for an outing to aid me and nic zy in art.. was during sep.. far before the exam paper was released... .. she just kept on pushing and pushing... ok, being the bloody nice guy I am... yea.. bloody nice indeed, I let is go.. telling her.. no rush.. it is ok.. take her time yada yada.. but then.. out of the blue... BILLY came out.. when the fuck did that oil bucket asked her!? LAST YEAR!? ...... WHAT AM I!? ... I mean.. who was it... being with her through her bloody time in this hell school?.. who cheered her up when she felt like a bad teacher? Who reminded her when things go wrong.. to smile..? Who kept her things whenever she misplaces them?.. Who.. was there for her all these while...? ... I dunno.. I am not asking for like her hand in marriage.. I am just asking for a little of her time she promised me... ... and she had to do that to me... it is ok.. I am really used to it.. really.. it wasn't the first time anyway... I mean... .. damn.. tears ... haha..:)
Continuing the day... I met Tiffany at the library .. then Nic.. haha.. talked and studied a little... and then she left.. so me and nic changed to the study corner beside school... and then ZY came.. hehe we talked a bit study a bit.. and we left... well.. that is about the day.. :(
where pain suffers truth
Thursday, October 9, 2008
These days I have been really down.. no real reason.. none that I know of.. Just pure.. down.. blues. Maybe it is because school is ending?... I hate good byes..even though the 3rd piano piece that I can play is title Good Bye "by hide". AHHHHhhhhhh... I dunno what am I doing.. everyday in school I become lifeless.. restless.. just.. dead.. very dead...
Tomorrow I'll still be wearing the same shadow
Dead poem's still alive Dead poem's still alive into me Dead poem's still screamin' Dead poem's still screamin'
In my mind, I hide
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
I have no idea what is going on in my head..It's likem there is nothing but something is inside.. doing something to me. I feel tired, in pain, totally worn out..and... empty. This feeling is getting from bad to worst.. I dunno what's wrong.. maybe it is my ablity going haywire.. and the emotional flux plus random knowledge is doing strain to me.. or maybe I am just not feeling well.. no fever though...
Things in class seem to mild down a little.. not so much the usual Ho Ha... but there are some real changes... you see.. Karyan and Shiyun.. totally are not talking to me... not like I talk to them anyway.. but .. it is just weird.. Nevermind about that...
Zone-ing out once in awhile... atleast I can do my revision.. not without the usual irritation.. but I still manage...
Think I will be sleeping early these days... just feel like it...
Bringing us to never ending suffering
Monday, September 29, 2008
Yo!.. I just came back from Batam... dun ask me why I went in the first place.. I just did.. well anyway... 3 days 2 nights... nothing much.. just spa, math and crabs...
where death is the only comfort
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Wasted the entire day sleeping.. resting due to some stupid cough.. blocked my oxygen supply and made me super uncomfortable.. and .. I can't really breath well either.. I wasted a day.. and that's it.. anyway.. I just felt ... dead tired...
Everytime I think.. I see this figure.. Death.. sitting.. tapping his bony fingers on the table.. fiddling with his hour glass.. bored.. tired.. like me.. Just sitting there.. waiting.. and.. every once in a while, he will lift his head from the table.. look at me.. with eyes.. blue like the sea.. only brighter.. more comforting.. compassionate.. with a sad look.. and his words.. cold.. but meaningful.. " Take your time.. I can wait.. " .. as if .. I communicate with Death... he doesn't reply to what I say. but his words change everytime.. Just now.. little Nana.. told me to breathe.. and tell her who or what I saw.. and there was Death.. the same .. onl somewhat different... I saw the place he was in.. for the first time..
Sitting on a grand chair laced with bones and skulls, lying his head on a table that seems to gleam in pure darkness. The hour glass.. old yet beautiful.. his robes.. dusty to the eyes.. but the illusion of spirits flowing around.. in a out created that effect. Surround him, a grey blue sky, those like after a cloudy rain.. darker...gloomier.. A tree.. bared of leaves.. cold and moist to the touch.. A skinny cow.. lifeless but it seems to move ... Walls surrounding the environment.. like bricks.. fresh and grey.. the floor.. seems to be like slade..yet marble.. shiny yet dull.. The air.. heavy... like my thoughts.. each breath.. a new meaning..
Looking at Death himself.. sitting there.. bored out of his wits.. poking and caressing his hourglass .. his eyes.. flaming blue.. seems cold to touch.. flickers around the place.. slowly.. gazing into your eyes.. and a wave of fear first.. then comfort engulfs you.. into a void of his mind.... of nothingness yet you dun feel anything wrong with that.. like it is all that suppose to be.. His scyther.. shines brightly... looks soft.. for some reason.. the mear glace of it.. seems to cut you deep and leaves you bleeding..
I feel.. that Death.. is more then we think of him to be.. Everytime I enter his house.. the feeling is not of fear.. but of that like a old friend.. maybe it is his way to let you relax before your soul is taken.. but.. I believe it to be otherwise..
Gena.. My time is not up.. it won't be of a long time... not that I am in any hurry..though I always say that I want to die.. that is.. because I have no faith in this world.. the plain painful world we live in... I only carry on surviving because of people like you... my will prevents..stops me from dying as much as I want to.. still the urge of ending it all is strong.. especially when I am alone... but.. I am never alone.. even..if there is no one around me.... Death is all around.. waiting..
Never ending hate for life
Monday, September 22, 2008
Well.. today.. I really dun like mondays.. because of PE.. still it was fine.. I think..
Never thought that I will.. but.. today was a bad hair day.. anyway... during morning assembly, I was called out.. by Mrs Sudave.. hehe.. I thought what shit I did..in the end.. she told me.. " You got 40/50 for your geo." WOOO>..
hehehhee Evil smile came on my face..
Anyway.. Me and Nics.. have been planning for or Japan trip.. so hard.. but still great.. During lunch.. I told Nic..that in the event our O lvl sucks.. me and Danny will be going to China ..and end up as terrorist.. because.. they hurt animals.. and we want to hurt them back
Maybe the next post.. I will tell u all of my plans.. hows.. and why.ss.. kinda flaming up.. no mood...
Filled with.. pain and sadness
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Act 2 The Gathering of Shadows
It was months later in the middle of the winter months . . Lady Rune was slowly getting her strenght back, which was excellent. Bennitt still felt responsible for Vernons death and everything else which had happened.
Sir Scott sat in a tree awaiting the caravan of shadow beings heading to the gathering and muttered to himself "it had to be winter.....it just had to be winter" his companions looked at him and then we all saw the caravan and signaled to the men in the tree across from this one and then they were upon them slashing and cleaving them wildly until they ran screaming in pain and then they searched the wagons for more of them then took the wagons back into our forest encampment as they reached the large encampment many others were awaiting our arrival and they cheered and asked Sir Scott for words and Sir Scott said simply "we are the resistance.... the renegade shadows" and then we celebrated on the supplys in the caravan's wagons since the feast of years end his eyes had become dark as an onyx and his hair as red as blood he had not seen his family or any one from that day in so long yet he longed to speak to lady zaria he said to himself "she saved me..... one day i shall pay her back"
Bennitt walked to the open window and looked out on the the snowy tree tops, the silence was beautiful, a small amount of smoke was rising from the healers tree house chimney. She smiled and breathed the air in, and reached to the open window pain and closed it shut. "Its going to be a wonderful christmas this year" she announced to Zaria who was sitting next to the open fire, in an old winged armchair. She walked away from the window to the small coffee table were a small tea pot layed with a barral of wheat biscuits which she had bourght from the market earlier that day. She poured herself a warm goublet or nuckleberrie leaf tea, and did the same for Zaria then she passed her the goublet. After this she sat in the winged armchair opposite Zaria's, and pulled a woollen shug over her legs to keep them warm ..
Zaria, welcomed Bennit's company. The fire was warm, but she still pulled her shall around her tighter. As Bennit looked out the window Zaria too looked out only she was in her own world, her own thoughts. What did happen that night. Where did young Master Scott disappear too. A Chill came about her, just then Lady Bennit handed her the goblet of tea. Thank you Zaria said. What adventures would be ahead... Christmas.... hmm, not her favorite holiday anymore. But maybe this year it would be. She will make it be again. She drank her tea and looked at the fire... I apologize Bennit I am not good company today.. We must plan a shopping day to the village, for Christmas and other necessities....with that Zaria smiled... a real smile...not the fake one she had been giving everyone for months.... Bennit smiled too.
Sir Scott scowled as one by one his warriors left ot return home for the christmass holidays he said aloud "maybe i should go home to....." and with that he packed up and said goodbye to his comrads and headed to bennitts castle exspearincing a strange need to go there.
Within a hour of running he was there and banged loudly on the large doors when no one came to the door i bang louder and start shouting "bennitt!!! its me sir scott!!! let me in i need to speak to you!!!" he was dressed in pants and a chain armour top aside from his two swords at each hip and a large one across his back his chain armor was made of of the finest iron he had looted from caravans he had made the armor and swords himself he stoped finally when the door opened and awaited to see who it was
Zaria was putting things from the shopping trip to the village away. She was deep in thought. Hoping everyone would like the gifts she got for them. She also purchased some personal items. She looked out her window and saw smoke from far away chimneys thought about Scott, funny she had his package in her hand. Why can't she shake this young man. Jaeken my brother is coming for the holidays. That will so nice to see him. Its nice he gets a leave from the Military to see family.
Suddenly she heard a banging noise and someone shouting...Zaria quickly walked to see where the noise was coming from.... honestly she thought where is the staff...hurriedly she ran down the stairs and opened the door... Oh my god Zane!!! come in from the cold she cried!!!!!{note from a past post Zane is Zaria's dead son... he has been dead 6 years] Sir Scott was confusd at this greeting.... Lady Zaria its me Scott.... Sir Scott you have to remember me.... with these words, Zaria fainted there in the entry way..
We live in a world...
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Having sore throats buu buu... I dun like sore throat really hate it..
so tired these days..no its ot your fault little nana,,, just that. I am tired...no reasons..
I have much to do.. I hope that I really can get what I aimed for.. haa... Life has always been a pain to me.. The intensity of pain.... even my knife wounds can't compare..Still I wonder.. how long can I stay alive..
I am.. a clairsentience..... In the field of parapsychology, clairsentience [From the French clair, “clear,” + sentience, “feeling,” ultimately derived from the Latin clarus, “clear,” + sentiens, derived from sentire, “to feel”] is a form of extra-sensory perception wherein a person acquires psychic knowledge primarily by means of feeling. Generally the term refers to a person who can feel the vibration of other people. There are many different degrees of clairsentience ranging from the perception of diseases of other people to the thoughts or emotions of other people. For me.. I am more towards the emotional side..:) .. Once in awhile, I am Claircognizance... is a form of extra-sensory perception wherein a person acquires psychic knowledge primarily by means of intrinsic knowledge. It is the ability to know something without knowing how or why you know it.
That is my main vampuric power.. I know things.. feel things.. I know the real you.. and ..you cannot hide your emotions from me... but still I have a long way to go.. and I am going to improve on this ability.. I have to..
For me.. I find that Vampires are.. Humans without a beating heart.. means.. they do not sucum to emotional problems.. and even if they do.. it's their own will.. they want to feel that pain... Vampires... the misconception that they are afraid of the sunlight.. is that..they have sensity eyes.. which hurts a lot in the presence of sunlight..but normal torch light doesn't affect them.. while florencent lights do..
The hunger for blood.. now that is just a big impluse.. it CAN be controlled.. for instance.. Little Nana.. :P.. her hunger for blood.. is overcomed by the love for music.. she literally thirst for music rather then blood.. Now.. each vampire has his or her on preference of blood.. what taste you like.. from what kind from what kind of people.. "urg.. flu.. I just woke up... 12 AM.. weird" Some people smells bad to you.. some other smells suprisingly sweet.. this often gets mistaken for.. love.. while in true.. it's the blood that attracts .. this is also known as pheromone attraction.. ..
And lies ..insanity
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Act One.. Feast of Year’s End...
Each year the denisens of our Realm come together to celebrate the years end. This year the Feast and celebrations for this festive occasion are being held by Bennitt at her estates. All are welcome to attend and from what Bennit's aids and house hold staff can tell us they expect that there will be no trouble.
However they have asked that we leave all weapons and such at the door.
Bennitt pushes the large oakfall doors open, leading into the small but perfectly arranged entrance of her estate. .
"Welcome to my home, But would you be so kind to leave all weaponary with Issac" (Issac is Bennitts human servant, he is a slim being with a clumsy looking face, but deep meaningful eyes for a human)He scuttled over with a large wicker basket and layed it next to the second set of oakfall doors, and looked shepishly at the wide range of guests.
"And to any of you issac is not your dinner, so please do not bite him" laughed Bennitt.
In a near by town, Terre was putting the finishing toutches on a deadly sword in her shop with Hynebi at her side. Hynebi glanced at the clock as Terre handed him the finished sword. "Terre, if you wish to keep up you're cover as a mortal, perhaps you should attend that Feast at Bennit's place." He said in his usual hollow emotionless tone.
Terre whiped the sweat off of her forehead with the back of her hand, "Yes, but, I'm trying to look lower class here. I don't think such a celebration would be appropriate. Besides, with so many people there, we cant afford to make a single mistake..." She shook her head at the thought of someone discovering any one of their many secrets.
On top of a small tavern, Vernon listens to the whispers and chatters of mortal beings until a topic interests him.
"Hey..heard of the gathering of demons? Yea..think its called..er..Fest of something end..supposingly to be held somewhere over there". Then 2 guard walks by and chases them off. Their conversation then was more painful to the ears. Yyou think the hunters are going?" Who knows.. maybe they will catch one of thos foul creatures this time". Think we should inform the hunters just to make sure.." And off they went. Vernon looks at the direction of the gathering and shook his head. Vernon " maybe its time I go. Lets see what these hunters can do"
As every one entered the room .. Bennitt scanned the faces of the guests to find the face of Vernon her mentor. As she could not see him, a sudden surge of disapiontment ran through her vains. She then decided not worry about it and to entertain her guests. But how could one entertian so many different people? She was just glad that she had Rune there at her side for help . .
In the Hall there was a extremely long wooden table filled with decoration and many types of food and drink to suit every ones tastes, and in the middle was a large glass figure of a vegetable Lamb. The chanderlier had fire flys dancing around the flames of the candles .. Next to the open fire a heard of Satyr/Faun played their music (A Satyr or Faun are intelligent creatures that are found in the wild places of the world it is sad. They indulge in food and drink and romance. A satyr is a horned man with the legs & feet of a goat. The hair that grows on these creatures is usually chestnut brown. The hooves tend to be jet black in colour. Satyrs are mischievous by nature and like to play tricks on others. They have a natural talent for music, they often carry Pan pipes to play their magical tunes on them.) This heard had agreed to play their music for Bennitt that evening as they had owed her a favour ..
"Feel free to dance, drink, eat and have a good time as it has been a good year, the hunters have not taken any of us. We have been joined by many new faces, who i am happy to share my home with . . so please raise your glass's to them and to yourselves" Bennitt raises her glass . . and others do the same and they make a toast. She walked over to the exit an placed her glass on the side cabinat and walked out the hall with out a word to any one, and raced up the warn away stone staircase into her tower room, were she threw off her dress and quickly changed into her riders outfit, and jumped through the open window to land on the soden grass to were she knew he would be waiting . Hynebi grew concerned and Terre jumped at the shrill cry. It was so close to their shop, which was closing in for the night, it must have been next door. Terre had dropped her tools, glowing with heat, to the floor. A breathless hiss escaped Hynebi's throat, as one scolded his leg, and took no suprise that one was through Terre's leg un noticed. Terre picked up the tools and put them away. Hynebi walked over to the window to see where the scream had come from. As soon as Terre joined him by his side he took a more comfortable form. He changed, becoming completely black except for his slightly glowing white eyes. He then took his role as Terre's shadow, allowing them to go outside looking as if Terre was a solid being. "Terresinata, don't bother," He said through his thoughts, as hollow and as heartless as always, "Whatever happened, you dont want to be a suspect. It will ruin everything, do you understand? Once somone finds out about me..." He stoped his thought speech, she didn't need to be reminded of the consequences.
A psycotic smile spread its way on her face as her eyes lit up in the pale moonlight permeating from the window... By the loud cry in the midst of the night, Vernon turned, eyes glowing red and mouth opened wide, realising that he was spotted by a villager while the the middle of feasting off one of the hunters. The lady ran but was blocked by a wall of darkness.--"
Earlier that night, Vernon traced the guards to the hunters hide out realising that there is a preist within the group. "This could mean trouble, better dispatch some of this meat". Following the group then suddenly the preist vanishes and the group splits up.
--Vernon stood up, walks towards the frighten lady but a voice from the darkness enters his head. Wiping blood off his lips and in bat-flight vanishes. Cursing himself for being careless, " how can this be? I smelt no life but of the hunters, something is wrong" he land at a spot in the forest only some knew, looking at the moon, thinking " the blood moon is coming..but" his thoughts were disturbed by a soft but deep breathing, as he turns, a familar face smiles at him.
Origins Vernon was born a human but left to die at birth. His teacher and foster father Creynos Alrden, raised him up until at the age of around 10 then by no other options and Vernon's own decision, was turned into the first Human-to-Vampire. By being the first in this transformation, Vernon grew wings but his heart still beats but, blood feeding is a must. Most of the weakness a vampire has mainly do not apply to Vernon. After the transformation, Vernon was given a new name, Serenula Lonesomhel...
Thats my story.. on how I am a vampire.. hehe .. think I feel like posting my story on this blog... hehe
Today..hmm was ok.. like very normal day.. just that I really hate having my pic taken..unless I want to..
In this everlasting night..
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Having a dinner gathering with my mother's side for a thankyou after my grandma's funeral...
Wasn't any great.. food sucks.. mood was bad.. haiz.. nvm..
What should we talk about?... If there is anything that you both would like me.. please tell me ;)..
For tonight.. we talk about being human.. Humans are animals that can think for themselves.. can act base on what they prefer and.. have an elaborate emotion..This emotion is the main reason that is the defination of human. The ablilty to display what is affecting them.. is only in humans we see..this ability allows humans to give the surrounding people a rough idea of how they are feeling... but even though it seems to be good, the emotions can be very bad.. Emotions clouds judgement of whats right and wrong.. it too will impare the human mind and prevent it from thinking correctly. For example.. a typical male human will be affected by what seems to be love .. but its all just a chemical reaction speeding up ..and affecting the brain.
Emotions are contagious. It spreads around worst then any known virus. Even though the brain is a powerful item, it is totally helpless to emotions. The urge to cry, to smile, get angry, lust, these are emotions that affect every mortal in their daily life.. What is true and heat-felt.. and what is just plan hormones.. it is not easy to sort them out.. only when the deed is done.. where regret is common..
My Hate of the human race is real.. just as it seems.. humans are only for themselves.. I refuse to acknowledge that fact of being a human for they are the real monsters.. the real terror of nightmares..
That brings of life itself..
Monday, September 15, 2008
Do not keep it in you anymore.. all is not lost... in this world.. there will be atleast one person.. atleast.. that listens and care.. and for your, I am sure there is more then 1.. :) There is no such thing as certainty in this world. Nothing is for sure.. Even Alice can only see the happeing future.. and when that person changes' his or her mind, the future changes entirely that means nothing is absolute. Do not give up when put down.. alternatives are present and you will find them.
Believe in yourself.. you know what you are capable of.. I understand how you feel. I can't lose my piano... its my only source of relax.. to centre myself.. Just as you to your music.. nothing is more important..more understanding then music itself. The only invention worth prasing.. music is the only thing that can alter the emotions.. a song.. a piece.. have many different ways of playing.. For instance.. my favourite "Speak Softly Love".. aka GodFather.. it is.. a romantic music.. but playerd slowly.. it gives a feeling of sadness.. while player strongly.. it gives the feeling of urgency, strength.. and played lightly.. it's happy and ..light..
Hold this tight to yourself.. your soul.. it's already a part of you.. Never let it go.. my dear.. for music will never betray you.. so ..Please cheer up.. k Gena..?
Mizerable by Gackt.C
Only now I murmured "It was a trick from when I was naive"
Turn, turn... Inside of the time that left me behind I am, now, les misérables
Deeply, deeply falling inside of the dream that I only started to forget I am, now,
les misérables
You who I loved too much are on the other side of the wall, softly smiling
A dance to the cloudy skies..
As we all have our own lives... we still share each others' pain. Friends are something not only important but necessary. Well.. this blog is.. about me .. I think... anyway.. here goes..
Good.. a word that is misused and never correct.. why?.. Lets say you are a assasin.. to the client, you are good while to the victim you are bad.. while if you are a policeman(woman if you will) the robbers think you are bad while the "good guys" think u are good
What is really "good"? Who can define the the real term of Good?
Well.. in my life.. good has been very unclear.. Say my parents.. They are nice in the way that.. I am going overseas 3 times.. or more... this year and the bad thing is.. they are very supersitious.. Feng Sui stuffs and.. they treat me like a little kid..
.. These days.. beside the noise due to some religous functions... the weather is too bright... and I miss cloudy days..
The Dawn of Dreams...
Friday, September 5, 2008
So its time I start up a hidden blog again... never knew that so many things can happen in one small little place known as a Classroom.. Hidden faces of people you see almost everyday.. How can life be so drastic in a place like so?..
Well.. when former friends can become the worst of enemies for petty reasons... what is there that cannot happen? This World. It's not as big as it seems. No matter how you look at it, it will always be not enough... never enough.. as humans have a never ending desire for more.. more and more... the heart of a human is capable of beautiful things as well as horrible things... There is only one possible answer why humans cannot have the beauty and not the horrid.. which is... Desire...